


Taz in Escape from Gensokyo

by Madras_Eclipse



Category: Looney Tunes | Merrie Melodies, Touhou Project
Genre: Cartoon Physics, Destruction, Gags, Gen, Reader-Interactive, Stripping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-18 12:49:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18699943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madras_Eclipse/pseuds/Madras_Eclipse
Summary: Taz is kidnapped and sent to Gensokyo. Now he has to find a way out while dealing with Gensokyo's array of characters. Inspired by Taz in Escape from Mars.This is interactive fiction! You can vote on where Taz will end up next!





	Taz in Escape from Gensokyo

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a silly, light gag work featuring the Tasmanian Devil in Gensokyo. Most things in here aren't 100% canon accurate, but they don't have to be.
> 
> You can vote on where Taz goes next at the end of each chapter, as well! Check the notes at the end for the form to vote!

“Mistress, your shipment from the Outside has arrived,” Sakuya said lugging the wooden Acme-branded crate onto Remilia’s balcony.

Remilia turned around. “Ahahah!” she laughed, “it’s finally here!” She gazed longingly at the crate, which contained the thing she had ordered last week. On her side table was a book labeled “Rare Outside Creatures.” She got the book recently from Patchouli, and upon reaching the Tasmania page, saw a creature that she knew she just HAD to have. So after bribing Yukari with the best hard wine she had, Yukari placed an order, and now, here it was, in front of her face.

“I can’t wait to show this new pet to my guests,” she exclaimed.

Sakuya, however, was hesitant. “Yes, m’lady, but are you sure this is such a good idea? I read that book after you did and it seems quite ferocious…”

“Nonsense!” Remilia balked. “Look at the hobgoblins in the mansion and my pet chupacabra! I’m a _connoisseur_ of the ferocious! A _master_ of mankillers! The grand poobah of pain! I want people to see my exotic, deadly pets and respect my status as the Scarlet Devil!”

Remilia whistled for two fairy maids, one armed with a crowbar, to come over and crack open the crate as their mistress looked on in anticipation. After several moments, the front of the crate popped off and fell to the ground, and the growling, grumbling beast within snarled and sauntered out in front of Remilia.

“My my, what a magnificent specimen,” she praised. “Its sharp teeth, its claws, its disposition… this will make a fine addition to my menagerie.”

“Mmm,” Sakuya mused. “It certainly does look like a maneater.”

“Of course,” Remilia said. “Look how menacing it is, I’m sure this animal could finally keep Marisa from looting the library so ofte-”

Then Taz spun around, bounding from wall to wall, tearing up the plaster, busting the table in half, tossing chairs all around and perhaps most insultingly, eating all of Remilia’s tea cakes before rocketing inside the house and down the hall.

Remilia looked on in disbelief, as did Sakuya.

“Ferocious, indeed,” Sakuya said slyly. Remilia, however, was steaming mad at Taz for eating all her snacks.

“Restrain it at once!” she commanded the maid.

“With pleasure,” Sakuya answered, brandishing knives before disappearing in a blink.

 

Taz spun down the hallways of the mansion, when he stopped, sniffed the air, and smelled the distinctive scent of meat in the kitchen permeating the walls. In a heartbeat, he raced toward the kitchen, but was suddenly stopped when Sakuya rematerialized and grabbed a hold of him.

“Well well,” she said, holding a knife up to Taz’s face. “Wily little beast, are we? I’m sorry, but you’re the lady’s pet now, and you will be well-behaved and obedient to her and everyone else in this mansion!”

Taz ate the knife.

“...” Sakuya was speechless as she watched this animal with no magical powers just eat a silver knife.

“GHAK! ACK! GHJSKDJFHK!” Taz spat out the knife, which rocketed down the hallway and pichuun’d a fairy maid right in the hitbox. Must have went down wrong, Sakuya thought. Taz then wound up again, catching Sakuya in a whirlwind before he took off down the hallway toward the kitchen. Unfortunately, he had inadvertently ripped off (and subsequently ate) all of Sakuya’s clothes, leaving the maid almost completely naked. She looked down at herself, and immediately blushed.

“MEEP!” she cried out, covering herself. This was utterly humiliating for her, no less because of all the fairy maids who were around watching her.

She turned around, and Flandre just had to be standing there, looking right at her.

“What are you doing outside of your room?!?” she cried out, still blushing.

Flandre crossed her feet and said innocently, “I just heard a noise up here and wanted to see what it-” She then saw two pieces of fabric fall down from under Sakuya’s left arm, which was covering her breasts.

A mortified Sakuya stared at Flandre, who after a moment of silence, commented softly, “...oh. So you do pad them.” She smiled sheepishly, then bolted back down the stairs.

“GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE COCKROACH!!!!” Sakuya yelled mustering millions of knives and pursuing the younger Scarlet down the stairs, when she realized she lost her. So she tried looking down a hall which she forgot had a large window in the wall facing the outside of the mansion.

*FLASH*

Sakuya spun around, and saw Aya outside with a camera.

“Cool, so Sakuya really does pad her dress!” the tengu reporter called out before wooping back off into the sky. Meanwhile, all Sakuya could do was collapse down onto her knees in frustration, reach up and scream at the ceiling, “WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY…”

 

Taz finally found his way into the kitchen, where he ate all the food in the icebox before eating the icebox itself, then emptied out the walk-in pantry. He was just about to leave when he fell down a trapdoor which led straight to the library in the basement.

Once he fell down, he looked up and saw Koakuma charging him with a flurry of laser bullets, causing Taz to spin off, going right through shelves of arcane tomes and toppling over tables that had potions on them, before being pinned against a wall and subsequently surrounded by green laser bullets forming thick vines.

“Gotcha,” Patchouli said, coming out of the shadows holding a book with arcane Latin words in it. “I can’t believe you managed to get past the maid and the mistress, but you won’t escape me.”

Taz busted through the wall, leaving a Taz-shaped hole.

“...what,” Patchouli said. She then attempted to give chase, but had an unfortunate asthma attack which caused her to smash into the ground.

Taz busted out of the library, and with him out flew a grimoire chronicling forbidden spells. He picked it  up and looked at it. The spellbook contained a number of charms, with many passages able to outright kill mortals on trying to pronounce them, and others dealing with dark, arcane magic that would surely damn one’s soul to Hell.

After Taz ate it, he spun down the hall, crashing right into Flandre’s room. Flandre, who was still trying to hide from a raging Sakuya, looked up and took notice of the animated animal.

“Are you my new playmate?” she asked. Taz, of course, only responded in incoherent gibberish as he tried to find a way out.

Flandre glomped Taz in a hug. “You’re so cute and fluffy! I wanna play with you forever!” Taz didn’t know what to think. That was when Flandre got up and reached for a deck of spell cards; she thought Taz might appreciate playing with her this way. As she reached for them, she inadvertently clenched her right fist, causing an explosion around Taz and leaving him blackened, but he shook it off.

Flandre took note of this. “Yay, a toy I can’t break!” She then brandished her strongest spell cards, and tossed one into the air, causing multiple lasers to blast in all directions around the room. Of course, Taz sucked at dodging danmaku, but since he worked on cartoon physics the worst that happened to him was getting all his fur singed off before it spontaneously grew back offscreen.

Flandre passed a spell card over to Taz in order to allow him to retaliate it. Taz caught it by eating it, causing three copies of him to spawn next to him. Each of them also belched red lasers while spinning around destroying everything, leaving the bedroom in ruins as they all busted out down the hall. Each Taz scattered out in every direction, with one making a break for the exit.

But not before Sakuya, wearing a new change of clothes, jumped on him and stabbed him right in the head with a knife.

“You will not destroy any more of the mansion!” She yelled. “Remilia changed her mind about you and now wants you gone!”

Then Taz faded into light. It was a fake.

“Blast!” she exclaimed. “Where did it go?!?”

 

The real Taz eventually busted out the side of the mansion, tore up most of the flower garden, and buzzed past a sleeping Meiling, taking (and eating) a few bars of the fence with him. He kicked up a dust cloud as he disappeared into the wide, open valley that was Gensokyo.

**Author's Note:**

> Vote on where Taz goes in Chapter 2 here:  
> https://forms.gle/GpALiaRUbezw2oCZ9


End file.
